Brains in the biceps

#bachelor1

He starts calling me darling and that quickly upgraded to babe. Red flag number one.

And yet I still chose to explore and keep responding to his messages. I was curious. What does this guy have to offer? He looks cute in his profile photos. I noticed he has a child. Hmm, is that an issue? I told myself, be open to guys with children. The reality is, when you're dating at this age and your age preference is set to 30-50, then you quickly need to adapt and embrace the fact that a lot within that age bracket, will be Dad's. Or baby daddies as the baby mama's call them. We jump off the app and start texting directly. The usual messaging throughout the day and then he hits me with the "do you want kids?". I sat there thinking, well, do you? The older I get the less I want kids. And that's purely because now as an adult, I understand what it takes to become a parent. But the stepmother life would be too soon for someone new to the online dating scene.

All the selfies are of him at the gym, flexing the biceps and abs. He looks good but I couldn't care less about selfies. I admire how open he is about his son and doesn't try to hide that. He loves his son so much and shares that he's buying him gifts for his birthday next month. It's cute and adorable. The red flags keep coming though. I start to feel more uncomfortable with how much he's calling me babe. Is this the new term of endearment for Millennials? It's too forward for my liking. I go along with it with no reciprocating.

The casual conversation flows on.

Him: if we get along real well; then why not. you seem cool af. when is good for you babe? wish I could see you today

Me: maybe we can hang first get a feed or dinner or whatever and talk, keep it casual and see how it goes from there. and if all good and well then we can do more fun stuff on future dates. what do you reckon? same as you. you seem pretty chill and decent compared to the other horn dogs

Him: yeah babe that'll be cool as! when do you wanna do that? that sounds perfect tbh. really?! haha only want ass??? I mean, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love sex and I'll want it everyday but there is work to do before that you know, I care about the emotional connection first.

Oh how full of lard he was with that last line because as the days went on and we're planning our first date, it went from him initiating it to then handballing it to me to sort out. I was fine with that and thought well ok I thought because you asked, that you had this sorted but that's fine, I can do it. Our schedules are clashing while I'm trying to lock in a date.

Tuesday to Thursday: I have work

Friday: he has a work function

Saturday: he has his son

So we agreed and settled on our first date over dinner on Sunday night. I made the dinner reservation and then my plans changed. I had a moment and felt overwhelmed and beyond exhausted from a very hectic past few months with planning a huge family event and now I needed a break. A little weekend getaway alone with my two dogs and away from my family. I asked him if we could change our dinner date to Monday night instead. He accepted so I changed the reservation. I escaped for the weekend with my two dogs to a cottage by the beach and enjoyed every moment of peace. It was 2.5 hours from home and perfect for us. On the Saturday night, we're messaging to check in on each other and ask how the day is going. He's with his son and sending me photos of him and telling me how much he adores him. I gave in and finally sent my first ever selfie. I hesitated for hours. But I did it. And although the photo was cute, I still felt uneasy about it. I hadn't met this guy yet. It felt weird and unnatural. Nevertheless, I forced myself to keep an open mind to the new ways of the dating world.

Monday arrives. It's the day of date one. We both exchange messages expressing our excitement. I'm locked into back to back meetings for most of Monday and try to respond in between.

Me: sorry for the late reply been in back to back meetings all day. ok sweet, wanna meet 7 pm for dinner?

Him: where is that babe?

Me: it's in your suburb. is that ok?

I get on a video call while I get ready with cousin Yoda and she's helping me get ready and check that my make up is natural looking, as I prefer it to be. She's sharing golden advice and encouraging me to be myself, be confident and have fun. I'm looking like a little snack wearing a dress for once and get in the car to make my way to the date. It's 6.30 pm and I still haven't heard back from him since the last message. I shrugged that doubt off and drove on. The closer I get to the restaurant, I had a bad feeling. But I knew I had to see it through. Arrived at our table and I'm admiring the restaurants quirky decor while trying to not fidget. Thinking to myself, omg what if he walks through the door now, what do I do?!

Me: hey just checking are you still ok for tonight?

Him: hey babe sorry for late reply. I'm gonna have to take my son to docs. hasn't stopped vomiting the last hour or so

Wow! Did he just stand me up on our first date and have zero brains to apologise for that? Yes, I get it. His son was sick. But then I thought, was he really though or did you chicken out? Or are you a cat fish? Who knows! But here I was, alone, single and facing another older man eating alone who probably could tell I just got stood up. Right then, the angelic waiter appears and offers me a drink. I ordered a shot and a Paloma cocktail. The dinner order followed because I thought, well I have two choices here. I can either run out of here with humiliation streaming down my face or sit here and embrace the rejection and enjoy this meal since I'm already out. I chose the latter. The tequila shot and Paloma cocktail is hitting me a bit now and I can barely finish the chicken wings because they're burning my mouth the same way his lies came out. My gut was telling me he wasn't truthful. I didn't respond then or ever again. He had one chance and one chance only. I don't deserve this. Nobody does. I wanted to reply and say "well, I hope your son spews on you you liar!". But what is the point? I already wasted enough time and energy on this dumbbell. He doesn't deserve anymore or anything from me. Unfortunately, there's no cure for Liabetes.

Date one was officially a dud and a wrap.